Struggling with Thoughts in Meditation? Here’s 3 Ways to Calm Your Mind
“Is it normal to have thoughts during meditation?”
If you've ever sat down and found your mind racing with thoughts in meditation, you’re not alone. Many people believe that meditation is about having a completely clear mind, free of any thoughts—but that’s actually one of the biggest misconceptions.
Hey there, my name is Rebecca! I'm a private meditation teacher with 10 years of experience and I help people learn how to effectively meditate and develop a meditation practice that improves their overall well-being!
Today, I want to clear up this common misunderstanding about mindfulness meditation and share some helpful ways to manage thoughts in meditation, especially disturbing ones that pop into your practice.
Me thinking about if thinking during meditation is okay.
Are Thoughts in Meditation a Bad Thing?
The short answer? No! Having thoughts in meditation is completely normal and natural. The mind’s natural tendency is to think, and it's unrealistic to expect it to suddenly stop just because we sit down to meditate.
However, there are a few reasons why thoughts during meditation may feel challenging:
Disturbing Thoughts in Meditation: If thoughts in your meditation bring up painful past experiences or worries about the future, they can be difficult to sit with, I get it.
Too Many Thoughts in Meditation: When thoughts in meditation come in at a million miles a minute, it can feel like you’re being attacked by your own mind, making it challenging to sit with. This was me when I first started meditating and it was overwhelming.
Getting Distracted by Thoughts in Meditation or Pulled Away From Your Focus: You might start meditation with a strong focus on the breath, but then realize ten minutes later that you've been lost in a memory, you’re planning your to-do list or you got carried away with some random conversation from last week! Been there and this is a common experience that frustrates many beginners.
If you're struggling with this, know that you're not alone and that this is okay. I know it’s especially difficult for beginners, but the more you practice, the easier it is to manage. This is where it becomes key to recognize how we interact with our thoughts during meditation as we don’t want to try to eliminate them or fight against them.
Let’s Shift Your Mindset Around Having Thoughts in Meditation
If you go into meditation thinking, “I must clear my mind completely” and “I can only think happy thoughts”, you’re setting yourself up for failure and frustration. Instead, remember these basics before you begin:
Meditation is the act of paying attention.
Mindfulness is about being present without judgment.
Rather than trying to stop your thoughts or want them to be a certain way, try setting a general intention like:
I'm here to observe my thoughts in meditation and pay attention to what’s happening on the inside, without judgement. I’m going to notice my feelings as well, and create a space to become more self-aware. I will observe my thoughts and feelings with compassion.
This is a much more beneficial mindset to have about your meditation practice and you probably already notice how much better this mindset feels versus, “I can’t think any thoughts”.
For me, meditation has always been about connection and understanding myself on a deeper level. I was first drawn to meditation because I was extremely unhappy at work and wanted a career I felt passionate about. I intuitively knew meditation would give me answers. I kept showing up for my practice and I went through and beyond all kind of thoughts in meditation to get clarity. Eventually I received the answers I was looking for and I understood how to effectively manage the monkey mind. My mind become more calm and I let go of all these thoughts and feelings that didn’t serve me. And of course, I found a career I love as a meditation teacher!
Therefore, the mindset you have about meditation matters. If you enter your practice with curiosity, compassion and a desire to learn about yourself, rather than an expectation of total stillness, the experience will be more meaningful. Soon, thoughts during your meditation will naturally begin to fade into the background or won’t be so bothersome. But, I know this next question is on your mind!
Me realizing it’s okay to have thoughts in meditation.
How to deal with thoughts during meditation?
Even with the right mindset, we can still have overwhelming or negative thoughts. Here are two effective techniques to help you calm the mind when you have these kind of thoughts in meditation:
1. Focus on the Breath
You can think of your breath as the main anchor of awareness in meditation. This is your home base and whenever you get lost in meditation or your mind wanders (which will happen) bring your attention gently back to the breath. Use these steps below to help keep attention focused:
Simply notice when your attention drifts and kindly return it to your breath. Don’t beat yourself up, instead be kind to yourself. Practice compassion.
If emotions or thoughts feel overwhelming, take several deeps breaths and focus on making your breath steady and smooth. This naturally helps calm your energy because the mind and breath are closely connected.
Don't judge yourself when thoughts in meditation arise. Remember this is normal and meditation is a practice. Instead, just let them be there and keep bringing your focus back to the breath with kindness, and keep the breath flowing throughout.
Keep repeating this process to train your attention to stay with the breath for an extended period of time. Overtime, you’ll increase your focus and concentration. It takes time to train attention, so don’t be discouraged! If you find it too challenging and want one to one guidance, you can check out my private meditation classes for extra support. I didn’t advance in my own practice until I worked with a meditation teacher and it really helped me understand myself better and how to practice properly.
2. Focus on Something Pleasant
Another approach to calm the mind is to choose something positive to focus on during meditation. I know the mind can travel all over the place and we are biologically inclined with a negativity bias. However, here we’re training the mind to focus on something lovely. Generally, it’s easier to keep attention with something we like:
This could be a feeling of gratitude, a peaceful visualization or even a mantra or a word that feels inspiring. Focusing on feelings of security and wonderful moments can feel uplifting and soothing and can create a more calming experience. You can even imagine being wrapped in a warm blanket, bathed in white light or receiving a hug from a loved one. The options are really endless.
We often judge our meditation when it’s not going the way we want, but in mindfulness meditation we let go of judgments and work with acceptance and compassion instead. Focus on strengthening your compassion muscle when overwhelming thoughts or feelings arise. I like to think of compassion as kindness and wisdom working together to help you through life, and the more you work this muscle, the more rewarding your meditations will be.
What I want meditation to feel like.
Other questions you might be asking yourself:
Is meditation being aware of your thoughts?
This answer really depends and I’ll explain why. There are so many variations of meditation practices out there—it’ truly endless. Each meditation will have a purpose or goal you are working towards. For example, mindfulness meditation is the act of becoming aware of thoughts and emotions, without judgement. Transcendental meditation has a focus on a specific mantra and the breath. If you are practicing a guided meditation that has a focus on observing your thoughts, then I could say, “Yes, meditation is being aware of your thoughts”. In a very general way, meditation is the act of being aware. However, the meditation you practice will determine where your awareness or attention should be placed.
How do I know if I’m meditating?
You will know if you are meditating because paying attention is the essence of meditation . Therefore, if you are paying attention, then you are “meditating”. The meditation you choose to practice will determine the specific way to train your attention and it will have a goal that you are working towards. If you are following the meditation as instructed, then you are meditating. Now, how effectively you are able to do this will take time because you are training your attention and focus in a specific direction. So, if you don’t get it the first time, that’s okay and you have to keep practicing until you are successful at achieving the goal in meditation.
What are you thinking when meditating?
Who me?!—a meditation teacher who has been practicing meditation for 10 years?! If I said I didn’t think during meditation, that would be a lie. BUT, I do notice that when thoughts come into my meditation, they are less bothersome or negative. Also, I don’t think having thoughts during meditation is a problem. Actually, I think it’s very normal and okay so when thoughts enter my meditation, I just let them be there and bring my attention back to the task at hand in the meditation.
Me when I finally understand meditation.
Meditation is About Paying Attention, It’s Not About Perfect Stillness Without Thoughts
So, let’s recap what we learned:
Instead of thinking, “I need to clear my mind”, try shifting your mindset to, “I’m taking this time to watch my thoughts in meditation and be present with myself. I’m here to breathe, to observe and to listen and learn about myself.”
When you approach meditation with this mindset, you’ll find yourself looking forward to your practice rather than feeling frustrated by it.
If you're struggling with thoughts in meditation, you can focus on the breath to calm the mind.
Another great focal point in meditation is to keep attention with something pleasant.
Remember, meditation isn’t about forcing peace or having no thoughts—it's about mindful progress and prioritizing time for your well-being and you’re doing great! I encourage you to keep going as with time, your practice will evolve and feel more natural and be more effective.
Want to Go Deeper in Your Practice?
I know it’s challenging when you’re starting out. I was confused about meditation for a whole year and I didn’t really understand it until I worked with a meditation teacher. Here are a few ways I can help you:
I offer private meditation classes, which help you learn how to effectively practice mindfulness meditation so you can calm your mind and improve your well-being.
I have a free Mindfulness Newsletter you can join for regular meditation tips and mindfulness guidance!
Have some questions? Book a free call and I’d love to answer your questions through a video chat!
Thank you for being here and I can’t wait to connect with you again soon!
Rebecca Michelle | Meditation Coach
Helping women professionals learn how to stay focused and emotionally balanced through private meditation classes and mindfulness coaching.
